I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
