like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He? As in you personified your dick?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
