I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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