Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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