Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
