Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
