Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
