i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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