So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
