What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he shaved USA in his pubs
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
