AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
