Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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