There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Panties = found
Randomize
