this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
