Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Four minutes until I can fart!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
