He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
