yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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