return my video game
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
