I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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