She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
