yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
