I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize