there's paper in my vomit.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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