You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
