the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
