It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
