I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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