Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
