Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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