I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
