I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
