Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
His nipple licking is glorious
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