i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
