Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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