There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
