When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Couch. On fire.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
