I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize