My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
