I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
