I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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