best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
