I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
