She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
