I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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