youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i need some magic done to my vagina
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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