He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
