a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
