Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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