Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
