Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
