Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
