I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Randomize
