I look better un-naked...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i believe in u and ur pee
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
