So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I want her autograph on my taint
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
