stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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