Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
