Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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