I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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