yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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