and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
