Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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