her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
