I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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