There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize