Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
