been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
