Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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