whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
