Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
