Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
