I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
