But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
